Lifestyle: How to survive as a single mum without compromising

Single Mother
A single mother carrying her baby in the rural Kenya. Photo:

Who is a single mum?

A single mum is a woman who has children and praying the role of a mother and a father in terms of raising her child or children.

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What is it like to be a single mum?

It’s challenging because you have to pay all your bills. You must provide food, shelter, clothing, education and medication to yourself and your children.

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What can you do if you find yourself a single mum?

The first step is to accept that you don’t have anybody except God and yourself. Accept that your partners used you and damped you and that your parents are not responsible for you anymore.

The second step is to take responsibility for your action. Taking responsibility means nobody is to blame for the children or the hardship that will come along. Prepare your mind and soul to accept the responsibility of being alone.

Step 3 is forgiving and moving on. Don’t hold people hostage with blame and bitterness. Forgive the baby daddies, your family and even your friends. Mental health is important at this step. Seek counseling in church or in a public hospital.

Step 4 is to look for work to do.

Read also: What are the roles and duties of a modern Kenyan woman?

How do you survive without compromise?

It’s for sure that you will survive but without compromise is the question and how.

1.Connect with your creator

The way to survive is by prayer or meditation every day. Remember it’s only you and God. In fact, you don’t have family in your house. Don’t look for consolation from friends look for solitude in God.

2.Be a role model to your children

Remember you are a role model to your kids. You are the leader of the family and you are to give direction. This task and role require a sober person, not an intoxicated mother. If you are not careful
you will end up in a worse situation. So be sober and matriculate.

3.Engage in any economic activity

Look for work to do. Sell by the roadside, find cleaning jobs, find work to do. After you get to work save your money in a Sacco. If you can save 20 shillings in a day by the end of the month you will have 600 shillings and in a year it will be 7200. Work on a business plan or a career. If possible enroll yourself in classes. Don’t be idle.

4.Have a positive mental attitude

Say no to negativity. People will always speak badly about single mothers; society will blame you for your situation. Grow a thick skin. Put on boldness and ignore what people have to say. They will say all sorts of things. Protect your children from negative people. It doesn’t matter who they are even if it’s your own parents.

5.Be a present parent

If possible be a present parent. Don’t damp your kids in the village for your parents to take the responsibility. It’s your mess please clean it so that you can learn from it.

6.Have good morals

Do not be loose morally. Because you are a single mother that doesn’t give you the license to sleep
around. Remember to hold your dignity. Remember that you just made a mistake and you are not desperate. Do not accept change for money just because you don’t have money for breakfast. If you don’t have money for dinner, manage the little you have. Be content with little. Live within your means. If you can’t afford meat eat beans it’s okay. Teach your kids how to be content with little. Don’t be greedy and gluttony.

7.Seek for legal child support

If your baby daddy doesn’t want to be involved do not force him. Leave him alone. Stop looking for him
all over. If you can’t manage your bills, file for child support but don’t run around looking for him. Do not
sleep around with your baby daddy, if he is married to another woman. Respect the other woman, if he left you and married let him go.